Thursday, May 29, 2008

ANOTHER CLEVER EMAIL FROM LAYNE TO HIS CO WORKERS


Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m tired of looking like Clint Eastwood and prefer to go back to my Leonardo DiCaprio days. So you people need to nominate me for an extreme makeover to include some major face work. It’s just embarrassing to go out to eat and have the waitress lady automatically give me the “senior discount” without even asking for it. I guess I could try and pull everything up and super glue it in place but I don’t think I could blink if my eyes were glued open. I also need someone to donate a large bunch of hair so I can get a weave or rug or something to cover up the empty spots on the old noggin. Anyway, get together and write up some cheesy document that will insure I get the face makeover thing. Do it now before the skin gets anymore loose and just sags to the floor. I love you guys-buddies for life, or at least till I get a new face.
Oh yeah, throw in some cash so I can get a good down payment on that fancy red sports car that keeps tugging at me to buy, buy, buy. I need some new clothes too, so see what you can do about that. You people are generous to a fault. Thanks again, cough up the cash.
Get a committee together and get going on the makeover. I will put Kelly in charge so work it out with her. All donations should come directly to me, cash only I don’t take checks. In the event I do not win the makeover, I will certainly return whatever cash is left over.

Layne

Layne West
Parking Services
206-529-8993 direct
206-729-0590 main
800-828-4197 toll free
206-729-0990 fax

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My One & Only Nephew

Recently, I (Lorraine) went to my niece Tracy's wedding in Southern California. This was preceded by my niece, Jenny's wedding in Southern California as well. I have 4 wonderful nieces, Jenny, Tracy, Lauren and Courtney, whom I love dearly.


Out there by himself, is my one and only nephew, Justin! Saying Justin's name just puts a smile on my face. He is one totally awesome nephew. When he was little, I would bribe him with candy, to say that he loved his Aunt Lorraine more than anyone. He would always take the bait, despite my brother's indignation over that whole exercise. Now that he is "16", I think he would see through the whole candy bribe. Whenever I get the chance to see Justin, he gives me a hard time and I give it back, but this nephew of mine is very special to me. He doesn't shy away from his goofy aunt as other guys his age would do. So, Justin, here's to you from your favorite aunt (?). Keep being the great person you are and you will go far in the world. Until next time, make a goofy face for me. Love, from your Aunt Lorraine